Jesus, What Do You Want from Me?

A Bible Study on Women, Appearance, and Holiness in the New Testament

The Heart Behind This Study

For as long as I can remember, I’ve wrestled with one painful, persistent question:

“Lord… what do You want from me?”

Not what my church wants.

Not what tradition expects.

Not what culture pressures me into.

But what You, Jesus, truly desire from me as Your daughter.

I grew up with clear rules—strict definitions of what “holiness” looked like. I was told exactly what to wear, how to act, and what to avoid. And yet, despite my obedience to those outward expectations, my soul still felt unsettled.

I’d look in the mirror or walk into a church building and silently ask:

“Is this holy enough?”

“Do I look like I belong to Jesus?”

“If I died today, would I be ready to stand before Him?”

And through all of it, I kept circling back to the same aching plea:

“Jesus, please… just show me the way. I only want to be with You in eternity.”

I’ve studied and clung tightly to what I know about salvation — not based on works, but through faith, grace, repentance, baptism, and the renewing of the Holy Spirit:

Acts 2:38–39 — “Repent and be baptized in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins…”

Acts 19:2–6 — “They were baptized in the name of the Lord Jesus, and the Holy Spirit came on them…”

Ephesians 2:8–9 — “By grace you have been saved through faith… not a result of works…”

Titus 3:5 — “He saved us… by the washing of regeneration and renewal of the Holy Spirit…”

These verses remind me that salvation is a gift—not something I can earn by how I dress, how modest I appear, or what I’ve done right or wrong. And yet… when the Holy Spirit takes root in our hearts, it does change the way we live—because love produces obedience.

And that’s where my wrestling begins.

As a woman, I’ve asked the questions no one seemed willing to answer plainly:

• Can I wear pants and still be holy?

• Is cutting my hair wrong in God’s eyes?

• Is this outfit too flashy?

• Am I honoring Jesus… or drawing attention to myself?

• What does modesty really mean in the Kingdom of God?

I’ve been judged harshly—by people I trusted, people I loved. I’ve felt the weight of whispered opinions, family shame, and church-based expectations.

But here’s the hard truth:

I’ve also judged others.

Not out of hate… but out of ignorance.

Out of fear that if I loosened my grip on man-made rules, I might lose my place in heaven.

There were nights I sat in traffic or lay awake at 2 a.m., heart racing, asking:

“If I were to die tonight… would Jesus be pleased with me?”

“Am I missing something?”

These weren’t shallow questions. They weren’t vain or fashion-driven.

They were eternal questions.

Soul-deep cries for clarity, purity, and truth.

And one day, I realized I had to silence every other voice around me.

No more church manuals.

No more online debates.

No more regurgitated opinions from people I never saw reading the Bible for themselves.

I opened the Word of God—and I asked the Author to speak.

Not through filters.

Not through denomination.

Just Jesus.

Just His Word.

I began where the veil was torn. Where the old covenant ended and the new began.

And I asked:

“Lord, what do YOU say about how I should present myself as a woman who bears Your name?”

That’s what this study is.

It’s not a list of rules or a theological thesis.

It’s a search for truth.

It’s a cry for freedom—from confusion, legalism, fear, and pride.

It’s the journey of a woman who desperately wants to know the real Jesus… and who’s willing to lay everything else down to follow Him fully.

I know I’m not alone.

If you’ve ever asked:

• “Is this honoring to God?”

• “Am I being rebellious—or just untrained in the Word?”

• “Is it okay to wear makeup or sleeveless shirts in the Florida heat?”

• “Does my appearance affect my witness—or my walk?”

Then I invite you to walk this journey with me.

Not to copy my choices.

Not to adopt someone else’s convictions.

But to open the Bible with a willing heart and let the Holy Spirit speak—clearly, gently, and truthfully.

This is for the woman who longs to live holy, but no longer wants to live in fear.

For the one who’s tired of pleasing people, and only wants to please her Savior.

For the one brave enough to ask the hard questions… and humble enough to hear the real answers.

Let’s trade confusion for clarity.

Let’s trade legalism for liberty.

Let’s trade outward pressure for inward transformation.

Jesus, make us holy—not in the eyes of man, but in the light of Your Word.

That’s my heart. That’s why this study exists.

And if you’re here, I believe He’s drawing you too.

Let’s seek Him—together.

A New Testament Study on Appearance - Surrendering Beauty to the Word, Not the World

Hair: Trimming, Dyeing, and Honoring the Glory

The New Testament never plainly declares that trimming or dyeing hair is sinful. Nowhere does it say, “Thou shalt not cut thy curls” or “Color is vanity.” But that doesn’t mean God is silent about our hair.

1 Corinthians 11:15 says, “If a woman has long hair, it is her glory? For long hair is given to her as a covering.”

This verse, set within a broader passage about headship and divine order, reveals that a woman’s hair carries deep symbolic weight. It reflects glory, distinction, and God’s design.

But Paul also acknowledges cultural flexibility in verse 16, saying, “If anyone is inclined to be contentious, we have no such custom, nor do the churches of God.”

In other words, the principle matters more than a rigid practice.

For me, a woman with textured, curly hair, this brought both relief and responsibility. Curls aren’t low-maintenance. They require regular trims to prevent breakage, maintain shape, and keep healthy ends. At one point, I felt torn—does trimming my hair mean I’m dishonoring God?

After prayer, study, and tears in front of the mirror, I found peace in this truth: health can still honor holiness. Keeping my hair long, healthy, and natural felt aligned with the heart of 1 Corinthians 11—even if that meant occasional trims.

As for coloring? The Bible doesn’t mention dye, though we know people used oils, perfumes, and natural enhancements. The deeper question is this:

Am I doing this out of vanity… or stewardship?

Dyeing to cover grays or to accent you natural features with humility is different from dyeing to idolize image.“Is this an act of pride or self-care?” That’s a question only the Holy Spirit could answer—and He did, quietly, over time.

Key Takeaways:

• Hair is symbolic, not salvific.

• Long hair is called “a woman’s glory,” but nowhere does Scripture forbid trimming for health.

• Dyeing is not condemned—but the heart behind it matters most.

• God cares more about why we do something than if we do it.

Pants, Tank Tops, and Shorts: What Does the Bible Really Say?

Let’s address the elephant in the room.

No, the New Testament never says, “Women can’t wear pants.”

The most cited verse on gendered clothing is from the Old Testament:

📖 Deuteronomy 22:5 — “A woman shall not wear a man’s garment, nor shall a man put on a woman’s cloak, for whoever does these things is an abomination to the Lord your God.”

At its core, this passage warns against intentionally blurring gender lines—what we might call cross-dressing today. But in ancient Israel, both men and women wore tunics. What made the difference? Cut, purpose, and presentation.

So if I wear wide-leg pants clearly made for women, am I sinning? No.

If I dress in a way that still expresses femininity, modesty, and clarity of identity—then my heart is at peace.

1 Timothy 2:9–10 tells us, “Women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control… with good works.”

The issue isn’t fabric type—it’s reverence.

I’ve personally chosen:

• Wide leg pants or flowy skirts

• Bike shorts or Bermudas that hit at least mid-thigh

• Tops with full coverage and breathable sleeves

• Dresses that don’t cling, plunge, or shout for attention

Not because I’m afraid of God striking me down—but because I love Him enough to ask,

“Is this honoring? Is this reverent? Would this distract someone from seeing Christ in me?”

Piercings: Conviction Over Convention

Does God hate earrings?

No. In fact, He uses them as imagery for beauty and love.

📖 Ezekiel 16:12 — “I put a ring on your nose and earrings in your ears…”

Still, I’ve wrestled with this one.

I grew up hearing that piercings were rebellious. And for a while, I repeated what I was told, judging others for the sparkle on their lobes—because I didn’t know better.

Now? I’m still on a journey. I’ve asked myself:

• Would I get a piercing to belong or to beautify?

• Is this to draw attention or simply to adorn with discretion?

If I ever pierce my ears, I want it to be in freedom, not rebellion.

I want my conviction to come from God—not from shame, tradition, or social expectation.

Makeup: Enhancing or Hiding?

Makeup is never directly addressed in the New Testament.

The most well-known mention is of Jezebel, who “painted her eyes” before her death (2 Kings 9:30). But that verse describes her—it doesn’t condemn the act.

The New Testament redirects our focus:

📖 1 Peter 3:3–4 — “Do not let your adorning be external… but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart…”

📖 1 Timothy 2:9–10 — “…not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire, but with good works…”

These verses don’t mean we must abandon makeup or jewelry.

They mean our identity and worth should never come from them.

I love skincare and subtle makeup. But I ask myself:

• Am I wearing this to feel more confident or more noticed?

• Would I still apply it if no one saw me?

• Does this enhance the features God gave me—or replace them entirely?

God isn’t anti-beauty. He’s anti-idolatry.

There’s a difference between putting on mascara and putting on a mask.

Modesty: More Than a Hemline

Modesty isn’t about hiding.

It’s about honoring.

1 Timothy 2:9–10 calls women to “respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control.”

Modesty is the quiet dignity of a woman who knows she belongs to the Lord.

It doesn’t mean you wear a potato sack.

It doesn’t mean you can’t feel beautiful.

It means:

• You dress with intentionality, not sensuality.

• You cover what’s sacred, not flaunt what’s tempting.

• You choose clothes that reflect Christ, not chase culture.

For me, modesty means:

• No cleavage, crop tops, or skin-tight-butt shaping gym wear

• Covering my body without erasing my shape

• Prioritizing comfort, coverage, and femininity

I still wear things I love. I just love Christ more than I love fashion.

Wrestling With Vanity

Vanity isn’t always obvious. Sometimes it’s spiritualized:

A “modest” post that’s still begging for likes.

A beauty routine we say is for self-care—but deep down, it’s for applause.

I’ve had to pause before posting and ask:

“Would I still share this if no one responded?”

“Am I using this to glorify God… or myself?”

This has reshaped my content, my closet, and my confidence.

Not perfectly.

But prayerfully.

True modesty is more than fabric—it’s fruit.

The fruit of self-control. Of reverence. Of a spirit aligned with Jesus, not swayed by attention.

Final Thoughts

If you’ve ever stood in your closet or sat in front of a mirror asking,

“Is this holy enough?”

You’re not alone.

If you’ve been confused, judged, burdened, or ashamed—you’re not crazy.

You’re just hungry for truth.

Here’s what I’ve learned:

You’re not saved by your sleeves, your skirt, or your shoes.

But the Holy Spirit will gently lead you to dress in a way that honors the One who saved you.

When in doubt, go to the Word—not the world.

And let Jesus define your beauty—not a denomination, influencer, or trend.

Because holiness is not a look.

It’s a life.

And when your heart is surrendered, your appearance will naturally begin to reflect that deeper transformation.

You don’t need to strive. You don’t need to guess.

You just need to seek—and stay near to the One who is faithful to complete the good work He started in you.

Because at the end of the day, we’re all chasing one thing:

“Well done, good and faithful servant.” – Matthew 25:23